Numma 3: "Cloverfield is amazing, theres no way to get around that"

This little piece I'm about to write has spoilers, so no crying like a bitch! don't be a bitch and cry! cos I'm gonna spoil the whole film if you ain't seen it. You crying BITCH.

Right...

Sometimes, just sometimes, when something is so good, when something is so tremendous and so monumental / life changing. Sometimes...people turn against it...just because. But why? You ask. 'Just because' they are wankers? Probably my friend, probably. This same thing is happening with Cloverfield.

Cloverfield is amazing, there's no way to get around that, or deny it, as a film Cloverfield succeeds, it's got to be one of the best films ever made, arguably the greatest film of all time. That title is only held by Transformers at the moment...that's an official....view. On which everyone agrees.

But there's a trend happening involving those who perhaps didn't understand why the "camera was wobbly" or "the film ended with no explanation about anything" etc etc so because these people were rejected so to speak, because they were shat and pissed on, beaten up and made outcasts, put in the "people who don't like cloverfield" corner, because of this, they lash back at the film saying clap trap along the pooey lines of...

"not sure if i liked that film"

or..wait wait , how about this one

"Oh, film wasn't that good really"

Erm, sorry Norman spectacles. Yes it fucking was. How dare you disagree, now continue to take these hard beats to the back of the head..wallop!!! I came out of the Cinema, feeling something i ain't felt in a long time. Not my winkle. But feeling like I'd just been part of an experience a ride. The entire film is viewed from the perspective of some ones camcorder, and in short a giant alien/sea creature invades new york in the middle of them filming live. What a fucking fantastic concept. Could have only been topped by it being an alien invasion as opposed to godzilla type flex, but still but still...

Theres one scene where you view them being air lifted out of new york in a helecopter, which spirals out of control, remember again, this is all from a live camcorders perspective, you are there, you feel the tension, you actually grip your seat..oh for the love of god look, it's just tremendous. If you miss this at the Cinema you've missed a huge part of what the movie is meant to bring you.

But the point of my blog is...those who are saying it's rubbish. Shoot them. Until they all accept our religion!!! Or if you don't want to, then support this film anyway because good films like, really really good films, are rare. The directors of the film call it a cross between Blair Witch and Godzilla. And that's exactly what it is, except its a lot cooler than both those films. And Blair Witch i liked.

One scene, the guys run out into the streets and the military are shooting away at the beast and the camcorder catches it all, right in the middle, it's breathtaking. And i don't even use words like breathtaking but i can't think of anything else, any other way to describe certain scenes. I'm going to cry in a minute.

Just really please, make sure you see this film while it's showing, you wont ever actually get the chance to feel the whole vibe of it again if you miss it on the big screen. Do you want to be a fool and get rocks thrown at you in the street? (again) or do you wanna be part of Monster City...

Cloverfield is one of those rare gems that won't come back again until the official sequel. Which has already been announced, which they are calling "Cloverfield 2: Dan The British attacks"

Theres no argument, Cloverfield is fucking amazing, theres really nothing more to say on it.

Numma 2: "Facebook Will Save The World"

Who's gonna say it? I'm gonna say it. And about ten billion people agree with me buddy. Facebook will save the world. There's almost an air of embaressment or shame these days when a certain member of this race we call........"humans" admits to having a facebook page. Something along the corny lines of...

"Oh yeh ive got one of those stupid things"

or

"Oh yeah, heard about that shit, im really way to busy for it but i kind of have a facebook page thing going on yeh"

like fuck do you "KIND OF"..you LOVE THAT SHIT!!

Don't lie to me!!! Lie again i will smack you in the face, nose area, open palm, forward thrust strike. You lying PIG. Let me explain my outrage, my outburst and my anger, i will tell you why i am so passionate and angry at the same time with regards to this issue. It's because, quite simply. And i think im the first person to champion this, i mean really really proudly hold my hand up high and scream from the rooftops. Facebook will save the world.

Disagree? Gun to your head. This started for me got to be about a year or so back now i think. I heard about it sure. I was rocking the old Myspace as standard, and the Hi5, and the Friendster....and, the....Tagged...Facepic....and about 87 other profile sites, yeh ok sure. But Facebook was different, it was futuristic from the Get-Go.

The way you were constantly updated on whatever was happening with the person. Be it something as simple as they have changed one of their favorite films on their profile. Or information who they are now sleeping with...or...the relationship "status" changing. Come on, this is the shit! It's wicked. Myspace copied this updating with regular news idea after seeing Facebook do it. So i have recently CANCELLED my myspace account. Not the Dan The British one. One of my seven other Myspace profiles that is. I deleted it in protest of them copying!!!

I mean i'm steaming off here going on assuming you know what Facebook is right? You do of course actually know about Facebook though right? Let's assume for a second, just to be fair, you haven't heard of facebook ok?

So....

You haven't heard of Facebook??

Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa???

Ok all you need to know is that it's the greatest creation known to man since the wheel. You set up a page about yourself, simple, thats it. Whack a few sexy pictures up there, posing in your pants like i do, that sort of thing. Just basically do the damn thing. Then you connect with your friends who have set up other pages about themselves!!!!!!!........!!!!!!.. ! !!!!!!!

The advantage of Facebook is that it's kind of the unwritten rule to register using your full name. Other profile sites normally a nickname is used for your profile display. "Sexmaster1965" or something similarly funny, sharp and witty. So to search for people past present or people you didn't know from adam, but once saw in the street and asked them their full name, is dead easy.

And the name Facebook is gathering steam, support more and more everday. There are currently, by the last count by me 800 billion people registered on Facebook. To be honest if you've got a computer and you use the internet, then you'll have a Facebook page, it's as bleedin simple as that luv. That's how it goes these days. Question is, do you fucking wanna be cool or not mate?

Recently on Facebook, i have come across many old friends. Some, are more than likely reading this Blog via my Facebook page. So i can't say too much, except for the fact that they were fit back then at school, but were too good for the nerd. But now i will get my revenge...with SEX!!!! Hmmm, not in the way THAT was worded though.

But i'm back in contact with a lot of girls i was previously too nerdy to speak to at school, i feel God Himself has given me a second chance with facebook. Perhaps a second chance at life... speaking of which, anyone heard of a online thing called Second Life? from what i'm hearing, it sounds like that was made for me.

To be honest i could go on for ever, the simple fact is, sure some people say using Facebook the government or the Men In Black have all your details and will use it to farm our brains like the vast human fields in the Matrix and conspiracy theory blah blah, details info. I've assesed this situation and looked into the possible intricacies of confusion, identity theft and government tracking that can come of displaying your details on a Facebook page...and here is my conclusion, in response, to that said information...

"bolloxs"

Get on Facebook, and get a life!!! I never had one before!!!! now i have 100 friends (by the time you read this...probably) It is the greatest thing since Childbirth. Serious...i mean you're on it already anyway right?? It's just the few oddballs and social rejects still yet to get with the motherfucking program. Hahah squares.

Just be careful though in case your boss is on there, setting your profile status name as "hungover from the weekend was fucking pissed" may not be the correct thing to do, at certain times.

Besides that, you not on Facebook? It's time to get your ass on there, and get yourself-a-lovin!!!